Let’s face it, we’re going to argue with our spouse. When you are arguing there may be things we do or say that make things worse. Knowing How to Resolve Conflict in Marriage and following some simple “fair fighting” marriage tips can ease these heated moments.
Marriage Tips: How to Resolve Conflict in Marriage
Marriage is an awesome thing, but the divorce rate still stands slightly over 50%. I can see the heads nodding already and hear the thoughts, Yeah, but you don’t know how MY marriage is going. That’s ok. Hopefully, after reading this, you will have a little more of an understanding about why you feel like you are getting nowhere. You and your spouse are worth every ounce of effort needed to have a successful relationship. Below are three things killing your marriage you may not be able to notice or have seen, but feel like it just does not matter.
In the beginning, when we start to experience life together as a couple, there are always little things that we have to adjust to and we are still floating on the butterfly feeling in our stomach. So, compromising for our spouse is easy. We WANT to please them. As time goes by, most couples introduce children to the picture, job changes, and everyone has their share of catastrophes. These things take their toll on our hearts, minds, and our patience with each other. We begin to feel the need for a break and slowly begin to pull away from our spouse and tend to ourselves a little more. Here in lies our first mistake. In the covenant we make with our spouse, we vow to take care of one another. When we start to turn to other sources for that care, we leave our spouse feeling useless and less loved. As this continues, we pull further apart and by the time we see we need to fix things, bitterness over what has already been done sets in.
The Silent Treatment
One of the biggest mistakes we make in a relationship is to not to do anything at all. Yes, there is a time for us to take a break, sit back and look at the situation from all angles and see what needs to be done, but to just exist in the relationship will simply not work. Some quit talking about things, because they feel it is going nowhere. Some quit doing their part to see if anyone notices, because they feel their contribution is not appreciated and others put on a smile and just go along, never making their difficulties known. When the communication ceases, so does the progress of the relationship. Not to mention, it’s a very selfish endeavour and it’s an awfully lonely place for the one who chooses to quit.
Lack of Physical Intimacy
When you and your significant other are having trouble, the last thing on your mind is physical intimacy and, again, it’s normal to take a small break. However, physical intimacy with your spouse is necessary to keep the spiritual and emotional bonds between you strong. When one or both parties withhold this form of love from the other, it opens the relationship to thoughts and feelings of being unwanted, unloved, and of just not being enough. Hearts are shattered and self images are damaged, sometimes beyond repair just because someone was too hurt or angry to give the other a hug. Physical touch can heal so much in a marriage. Don’t let pride come before the promise you made to your spouse to love and cherish them forever.
Marriage is awesome. It takes work, but isn’t the man or woman who has been entrusted to you to take care of worth it?!
Jenna is a freelance writer from Renton, WA who is particularly interested in travel, nature, and parenting. Follow her on Twitter.