There will be times that those we love and care about are deeply hurting. Most times we can’t fix things even though we truly wish we could wave a magic wand and make their pain go away. There are some Simple Ways to Comfort Others when they are experiencing troubles.
Offering Support When You Hurt: Simple Ways to Comfort Others in Troubled Times
When something unexpected happens, it can be hard to know how to deal with it. Not only are you grieving but those around you are too. And because everyone deals with their grief in different ways, you might not know how to reach out to them or how to cope with the loss yourself. However, expressing support is essential both to you and your loved ones, so here are some of the ways you can help yourself and others come to terms with what’s happened.
How to Cope with the Events Yourself
The first thing you need to do is mourn. Although you may feel as though you need to be strong for those around you, you also need to cry, grieve and let your emotions out. You’re not being selfish by doing this, in fact, you’ll be helping others by allowing yourself this time to grieve. Pent up emotions can release themselves in unexpected ways, so when you feel like you want to cry, don’t miss the opportunity to do it.
Even though it might not seem like it now, the feelings you are experiencing will lessen with time. The love you have for those you’ve lost will never go away, but over time, you will start to heal and will be able to move on with your life. That’s why you need to go through the emotions you’re feeling now because repressed feelings won’t go away.It’s also important you make the most of any support that’s available to you. There might be bereavement groups, support groups or counselors who can help you through the grieving process. Equally, just having a friend’s shoulder to cry on could provide you with a lot of support. You may also find support through organizations, such as a social agency, a community group or a hospice. And if you lost your loved one in an accident, a specialist injury firm may also provide much-needed advice in your time of need (find out from The Levin Firm).
How to Support Others through a Difficult Time
You may feel as though you can’t reach out to someone because you’re scared of saying something wrong. But offering support is the best thing you can do at times like this. Take a moment to think about how you feel and what you wish people would say to you, and express these emotions to your friend or family member.
Try talking to them about the person they’ve lost, because this will help them to come to terms with it. It’s important they acknowledge the death in some way, so encourage them to talk about what’s happened. You may find that some people want to talk about the person they’ve lost because they don’t want to let go of their memories, while others may find it easier to shut it out. But be sure to mention their name, gently encouraging them to talk about their loved one.
If you don’t feel as though you can talk to someone about what’s happened, why not send them a card instead? Or, you could plan a memorial service or host a community event in the person’s memory.
Helping someone else through a difficult time isn’t easy, but you can help by just showing your support. Offer words of sympathy by talking to them straight from the heart. But always be aware that different people mourn in different ways, so don’t be offended if they push away your efforts to start with. Continue to offer your support so they know you’re there when they’re ready.
When the Pain Doesn’t Go Away
If your pain doesn’t go away, or you don’t feel as though someone is dealing with the death of a loved one well, it may be time to seek professional help. Initially, grief consumes you, but over time, it should start to ease. However, if you or someone else find it’s taking over and is starting to affect your daily life, you may want to talk to someone – e.g. a spiritual advisor, doctor, friend or relative. You may even want to make an appointment with a counselor. And remember, asking for help from others is not a sign of weakness.
The death of a loved one, whether it’s sudden or expected, is incredibly difficult to come to terms with. Recovering from this can be hard, and you may find yourself in denial for some time. However, with the right support, you will be able to start to take control back over your life. And even though the memory of your loved one will always be with you, you’ll be able to move on from this traumatic event in your own time, in your own way.
Lara Carr works as a therapist and often has people dealing with death or divorce walk through her doors feeling broken. She helps them with coping techniques until they feel able to face life head on again.