No matter your age if you are finding yourself in the dating world you may be needing to have a sex confession with a potential partner. This is a tough one for a lot of us and we don’t want to take things lightly.
Sex Confession: When To Have The STD Discussion
Talking about an STD with a potential sexual partner is not something that will ever be near the top of your list of things to discuss. But no matter how you manage to slot it into the conversation, it is a talk that needs to happen.
Here are a few hints and tips on how to get talking about something that really could make a difference to your sex life. You can also click here if you want to find out more about STD testing in the first place.
A time for exploring is also a good time to talk
If you are over the age of consent and you and your partner have made the decision to have sex, you are also old enough to talk about STDs before moving on a base.
It is understandable that you may be more than a little nervous about discussing STDs. Either because you find it embarrassing, or maybe you just don’t know that much about the subject.
One of the best ways of approaching the subject is by taking the stance that an STD is not a badge of shame but actually a medical problem that can carry some serious health consequences with it.
The most obvious way of getting the conversation going and opening up with your sex confession, is to talk about safe sex and the use of condoms.
You will want to be sure that your partner agrees with you about using condoms as a way of practicing safe sex. It is acceptable at this point, to ask your intended sexual partner whether they have ever had an STD before, as far as they know. This should be a frank exchange of information. If you have any history or concerns about an STD yourself, this needs to be discussed so you both know where you stand before things go any further.
While you can still have a rational conversation about STDs
It is not hard to envisage a scenario where things are building up towards a moment of extreme intimacy and you kill the mood in an instant, by initiating STDs as a topic of a sex confession.
It is also probably fair to say that your partner might not react that well if you want to talk about sexually transmitted diseases at such a moment of intimacy. This is why you need to have that important conversation while you are still in a position to be rational about it.
Timing and attitude are two key criteria in having a successful and productive conversation about your sexual health.
Pick a suitable moment between when you think the relationship is moving towards a physical and emotional level but before the point where you have decided to have sex with each other.
A good approach is to talk about how you see the relationship developing into one where intimacy is part of the equation.
Dealing with an STD disclosure
If you do manage to have a full and frank sex confession on the subject and subsequently discover that there might be a cause for concern or it emerges that they do have or have had an STD, it is much better to avoid overreacting and instead, discuss your options.
The same rules apply if you have an STD. Full disclosure and a positive attitude towards something that should never be viewed as a shameful or dirty secret, will often help you and your partner to find the right solution, get tested and move on to the next level of your relationship.
Talking about STDs with a partner is always going to be a challenge, but it is far better to be safe than sorry. Having this so called sex confession may be scary but if you or someone you know is facing this situation, the talk is vital.
Ben Sanderson is a community health worker who writes articles about sexual health topics. His articles appear on health websites and lifestyle blogs for men and women.