Our lives, living in controlled chaos. Raising kids & coping with tragedy
Heart of Christmas
I love this time of year. It never ceases to amaze me how different people act around Christmas and going into the New Year.
You see the rushed individuals that have been overtaken with way too much to do. The look of over commitment financially and of their time is written all over their face. Then you run into people who have joy beaming throughout their spirit. It radiates love and compassion. You’ll hear astonishing stories of the goodness that still lies in mankind.
I’m going through a few bible study plans that I have downloaded on to my phone throughYouversion.As I read through them I pause and close my eyes and pray for the healing I’ve been searching for. In this search I know deep in my heart I haven’t fully released and given my pain and agony over to God.
I know I haven’t completely accepted or forgiven God for this sorrow in-bedded in my soul. Although, I have these moments where I cry out to God in pain and question him and doubt why would my loving God allow all this to happen to my children and myself. I quickly remind myself, he loves me and he did not do these things. God gave us freewill, we were born to have choices. I am not on this Earth as a robot, I choose what path I follow.
To combat some of the sadness that comes with having loved ones gone to soon, I have been sticking by my commitment to read the Bible. To stick with my study plans. Everyday I have been reading the Christmas story, through different books in the Bible. Each time I read it, it’s almost as if it is for the very first time again. I feel the presence of the Holy Spirit speaking to me and reminding me of the things I have been graciously given. The meek voice inside myself yells out Jesus is THE Reason for the Season! This is not a cliché, there is no other reason.
As I think of the Gift God gave us with his SON, I am brought to my knees in awe. I know throughout my doubts, fears and agony if it were not by the Grace of God I would be floundering. I would not be able to wake up and take care of myself or my family. Yes, I hide and run to my safe place of avoidance. When I’m there hiding from life, I can’t hide from God. He holds me and tells me “Be still, and know I am God”, “My dear child know that even with your doubts and anger that the faith of a mustard seed you hold onto is all you need”. I’m reminded by Hisunconditional love that I WILL make it through.
It’s a heartwarming thing to watch our children have the joy of santa and presents. It’s almost the mystical kid in all of us that still wants to pretend there is that jolly guy being so altruistic leaving gifts for all, even the naughty. Our family doesn’t break away from this way of celebrating. What we do is keep it humble. We have that santa in our life that makes sure we have a few gifts that make us happy and supplies us with our year-long supplies of dental hygiene, underwear and socks etc. Santa makes sure we have some unneeded but loved sweet goodies too.
Throughout this time of year it’s important for me to keep things in perspective. To remember the Story of Jesus and yet let the mystic of santa and reindeer have their place as well. My heart is filled with the love of Christmas and all it’s Joy. My heart is in the knowing of the miraculous gift we have been given.
“He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree” ~~ Roy L. Smith
What ways are you using to keep Christmas in your heart during this time of year and throughout the year?