Saturday afternoon I headed on over to see what the Mommy Reality Challenge would be this week. What would I need to catch my kids doing? I was very excited to see my Moment of Trouble from last week featured, how sweet of them to share our post with everyone.
Hmmmmmm, well lo and behold the challenge this week is The Kitchen Sink!!!!! I had to take a picture now of my sink 🙁 No…… this would be the worst day to show the world what my sink looked like.
Things have been crazier around our house, more than our normal chaos….. I’m horrible about asking and accepting help so when things are in dire shape I take it all on myself. Cyberland was not ready to see my disaster!
Asking and accepting help is a life skill I am in the process of learning to do. In the past I have felt like anything needing to be done had to be taken care of by me. Why? I have lost so many people throughout my life that I have depended on in so many different ways. I had gotten to the point where I felt I couldn’t lean on anyone because I never knew when they too, might die. This is a work in progress, I am learning to heal and through this healing I’m learning to let go of this need to be in control. I’m leaning more on Faith and Prayer now.
On to my kitchen sink! When I read the challenge for this week I had just gotten home after being at a fundraiser (with my at times, very ungrateful 13-year-old) for the past 4 hours. I went in to take a look at my kitchen with camera in hand. That’s the awesome thing about mommy reality, we don’t cover up a thing we give you what our life really looks like.
I was prepared to see an awful mess, especially since I had gone to bed exhausted the night before and headed out super early on this Saturday morning. My housework was not up to par by any means!
I looked into the kitchen and I noticed things weren’t too destroyed; someone had just done the dishes. There were just a few straggler dishes in the sink but not the sink full I was expecting.
I found out pretty fast who did the dishes, cleaned the dining room and moped both kitchen and dining room floors. MY HUSBAND. I know, I really know I should be grateful at that very moment. But, I wasn’t.
I 100% do not believe in stereotypical gender roles. Although, I do completely feel like my husband works so hard 5-6 days a week and then he still has time and energy to get the housework done too? And he does an awesome job on my floors….. I’m impressed with the way he manages so much.
Since I’ve been a stay-at-home-mom I try to keep up with everything and I fall miserably short at times, honestly a lot of times. At any given point my house can be seen as looking like a tornado hit it, baby is running around naked, kids are fighting, kids are late to places they need to go, dinner is burning or hasn’t even been started and often the dog is even running crazy through the neighborhood.
I realize that each member of a household should help around the house and pitch in anywhere that is needed. For me; since I’m not working right now, and I’m taking care of the home and kids, I feel I should be able to keep things together better.
When my husband helps out I feel like I have failed in some way. He does his best to encourage me. He finds ways to let me know he wants to do what he can do when he’s home, he lets me know what a big job I have. Yet, I can still feel inadequate from time to time.
For me accepting help from others has not been about pride it has been about fear of not having the help. Doing things on my own, has become my coping mechanism.
What I have learned is leaning on others is a sign of strength. Allowing myself to depend on another human being has been one of the biggest areas of self growth and self-awareness that I have ever experienced.
Have I mastered it, no…. you can tell by my reaction to having my husband help around the house. I’m a work in progress. I’m much better now at seeing all I do and putting things into perspective. With the kids and their schedules it is a 24/7 job. I give myself the reassurance and be my own champion as much as I can.
There are those days where I do feel a little defeated, but that’s okay. As long as the positive feelings of what I do for my family and for myself outweigh the negative I am making progress in my journey to know; I am exactly what my family needs, I’m exactly who I need to be for me. I am a wonderful mother to my children and a devoted wife.
Telling and showing ourselves the amazing accomplishments and difficult things we do everyday as women, mothers, wives, men, fathers and husbands is key to empowering our self-worth. Having the need to control everything because I’m so scared the other shoe will drop no longer has the same hold on me. Boy, does it feel good to relinquish that control.
When you get a chance take a look at what Kim from Day with KT wrote: LIving in Fear Isn’t the Answer. Finding inspiration from her in so many areas lately!
What about that sink? I showed my husband my deep appreciation. I let go of being mad at myself for needing his help and just showed gratitude. Since I was still thinking of the kitchen sink challenge I decided to take a few more pictures while I was in there. I also wanted to show a little about a typical kitchen in Hawaii.
You’ll see most houses here don’t have dishwashers and you will almost always find a rice cooker on the countertop. You’ll also notice being in a large household we need the industrial size dish soap and you’ll never find a sink in my home without my favorite antibacterial soaps from Bath and Body Works 🙂
So, how does your kitchen sink look right now? Do you struggle when it comes to not only asking but accepting help from others? If you’ve have, what tools have you used to overcome it?
If you haven’t been able to stop by and check out the giveaways I’m participating with head on over to my Giveaway page 🙂